Well, not a huge surprise, but very sad nonetheless. I had a horrible headache when I went to bed last night and couldn't sleep very well. Just before I left to get my last beta this morning, I went to the bathroom and had brown spotting mixed with what was left of the suppository (tmi, I know). Right then I knew. I didn't really feel pregnant anymore either and didn't last night. So, the old, "If it sounds to good to be true, it IS too good to be true" was right again. I knew this all along, but did not want to believe it. I am happy to say that I at least took a few minutes here and there and tried to enjoy being technically pregnant. I will at least have the memories (no real comfort right now, but maybe later).
The nurse at my ob/gyn's office was sweet, but also said that she 'understands.' I would beg to differ. I am pretty sure that she has not endured almost 6 years of infertility along with multiple surgeries, multiple fertility treatments (not covered by insurance) and THREE miscarriages. Very few people can truly understand. I HATE it when people say, "Yeah, I totally understand, I had a miscarriage once, too." REALLY? SERIOUSLY? Does it take YOU at least 3 years to even GET pregnant so that you could HAVE your miscarriage? I hate it when people who get pregnant easily complain about having miscarriages. It must be really rough to know that you can just try again next month. Because it takes me 3 years to GET pregnant, I will never be pregnant again because I will be in my 40s by then. Besides which, I am going on the pill as soon as this miscarriage ends. This CANNOT happen to me again. I know that life is not fair, but this is ridiculous. Now I get to sit and wait to hear from the doctor's office to see whether I will need a d&c. Great way to ring in yet another decade of misery.
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