Tripped up...

I haven't posted in a while so there is some catching up to do. If you read my last post, I was doing well but knew that there was almost a guarantee that my "recovery" would be tripped up. Boy, that was an understatement.

I finally finished miscarrying in February- apparently there was still some tissue that had to be passed before my hormone levels finally went back down. The next couple of months were busy. I was feeling really great and had many things to look forward to! My old roommate from college came to visit for spring break and ended up moving to Arizona shortly after that, which was perfect timing. She is not of the "must have children" mentality, which is exactly what I needed! In April, I went to LA to watch my husband run in a 200-mile relay race. I was so proud of him! I remember watching his team run through Beverly Hills at midnight looking tired and I swore to myself I would NEVER do that. Soooo, when my birthday rolled around in May and I had one too many glasses of wine my friends suckered me into doing the next 200-mile relay in Las Vegas in October. Ouch. I am sooo not a runner, so we'll see how that goes. Something to look forward to in a way...

The best thing we had to look forward to was a 12-night Baltic cruise in June. We were nervous that we wouldn't make it to London for the cruise because of the volcano erupting in Iceland diverting planes...and then the flight attendant strike on British Airways (which fortunately ended the day before we left!!). On top of all of that, here is the kicker:

I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS PREGNANT THE WEEK BEFORE WE LEFT.

I know, WTF?!? I had "that feeling" and took a pregnancy test and saw the faintest positive I had seen in all of my pregnancies. I went straight to the doctor for a blood draw. Needless to say, my doc was a bit surprised to see me. Because it was a weekend, I couldn't have my blood drawn again until Monday. So, all weekend was spent peeing on sticks. They were all super-faint so we at least knew what would happen next. The waiting part sucked. My hcg came back at 10, so that was very bad. I started spotting the next day and bleeding the day after that at 4w5d. It was so shocking and it all happened so fast that I never really had a chance to process it before we left for Europe. Once we got to Europe, we were so busy and having so much fun that I was able to just forget about it. I pretty much stuck with the gluten-free, dairy-free diet that I started in March on the cruise, but I guess you could call it more of a "wine" diet of sorts. We didn't have to drive anywhere and we had these cute little cards that felt like "pretend" credit cards and you just handed them to the waiter any time you wanted a drink. It was waaaaay too easy.

The cruise was absolutely amazing!! We were so lucky to be able to go and we appreciated EVERY second of it. Going to Russia was amazing. We loved every port of call and met so many nice people along the way. It was so depressing to come home to face reality and the miscarriage, along with a good friend that got pregnant a week before me and is still pregnant. I was so tired on top of it all.

Now, here is the next kicker: A FEW DAYS AGO (A WEEK AFTER WE GOT BACK FROM EUROPE), FOUND OUT THAT I AM PREGNANT AGAIN. NO JOKE.

Now, before anyone thinks, "See? All you needed to do was relax and go on vacation!" I must strongly disagree with that thought. Do you know how many vacations we have taken in the past 6 years?? More than I can count on two hands. I can guarantee that was not it. I am thinking it may have been my change in diet, which in turn normalized my thyroid function that would be a more likely explanation.

Considering that it took me almost 3 years to get pregnant with my first one (only to miscarry), it is nearly impossible for me to believe that I have been pregnant 3 times in the past 6 months. I am suddenly sort-of-fertile-Myrtle. I say "sort-of" only because I once again came up with a low first beta of a whopping 24. I figured that was at about 12 dpo or so, maybe 11. Either way, not a number to get very excited about. That said, I am trying to appreciate every second of this pregnancy always knowing that it could be my last.

It is so sad that now when I tell my close friends that I am pregnant, they say, "I'm so sorry," rather than "Yeah! Congratulations!!!" I don't mind that they say that- I think that my closest friends just know better than to say "congrats" at this point. I guess that is what is sad about it. I have been thoroughly robbed of the excitement that is supposed to go along with seeing those 2 pink lines. The only silver lining at this point is that I know exactly what to expect when I see that faint 2nd line.

So, how is that for an update?!