Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Updates

**I can't figure out how to get the new format to show my paragraph separation, so this post may be annoying to read (other than just the poor writing!) because it is like a giant run-on paragraph**I had intended to document some of this pregnancy, but just haven't had the time. Or maybe it is that I am still a little nervous- certainly not in nearly the same way as last time, but still nervous about getting lucky twice in a row. It really just isn't my style. I guess not all is going perfectly or I would be more nervous. My husband will likely be furloughed (laid off in airlline terms) if another merger goes through. That would be very bad as I would then have to go back to work full time and miss watching my children grow up. They do grow up so fast and after going through what I did to have them, I don't want to miss a second. It is time I will never get back. I guess if I have to go back to work, I will be able to look at it as just plain being lucky to have them at all even if I only see them for a few hours a day. So, I am still pregnant and will be 30 weeks along on Friday. It has gone so much faster this time than the last, probably because I am so insanely busy at work even though I am only working 3 days per week. Sometimes it feels like more just because I am a single mom for most of the week since my husband is gone for 4 days at a time these days. I am not supposed to lift anything because I still have placenta previa, but that is obviously impossible when we have no family here to help and I am alone so much. I have been contracting a lot in the afternoon on the days I work, so it is then hard to come home and try to take care of my son. I also just found out I failed my glucose test and have to go back on Friday (my 40th birthday!) for a 3-hour glucose test. I hope I pass it because my diet is already very limited by the gluten/dairy free thing. Plus, I love candy. So far, the baby has looked good in the ultrasounds and is a mover. She is starting to accumulate a small wardrobe, but we still don't know where we will put her. Our dilemma is that we have 3 wonderful kitties, but one is mean to the one of the others so one has to be kept in her own room (a.k.a. the new baby's nursery). She has been urinating on the carpet pretty much any time the newest one (the one we call our "IVF baby" because we got him during the 2ww of our 2nd failed IVF) comes near her. We are at our wits end because we live in an 1100 sq ft condo on the 2nd floor and have NO space for anything, no garage and we our extremely underwater and can't move unless we foreclose. It is causing me great anxiety. I want the quarantined kitty to have a good life, but it would be next to impossible to find a new home for a 12 year old cat with anxiety issues :( And the other two really can't be separated as they are joined at the hip. Ugh. I know, if were still waiting for my miracle babies I would be taking this kind of stress ANY day over the stress I was under trying to get pregnant. It is a hard place to be in sometimes because I don't want to complain, but there are still stressors once you have kids they are just very different. More annoying than life threatening (to me, infertility was truly life threatening) I guess, but still there. I am a very lucky girl. I just hope my luck holds out and I can get my son's sister here safely. I will try to update a little more for anyone reading, but I am guessing most people end up on this blog by accident or are searching for a way to get or stay pregnant and don't care to read about parenting. I didn't much care to read about parenthood back when I was in the trenches, so I completely understand. I just want people to know how things turned out. If I could help even one person have his/her miracle baby by learning from what we have done I would be so happy. Please, please, please leave a comment if any of the information has been helpful to you. It would make my journey even more worth it in the end.