This feels like it is dragging on forever. To top everything off, I now have full-on morning sickness. Apparently the placenta is growing just fine, but it hasn't gotten the message about the baby not being there anymore. Since I was a little girl, there has been nothing I hated more than vomiting. I am sure nobody likes to vomit, but I was terrified of it. So last night, it finally happened. I laid next to the toilet while my cats watched in shock. One was sitting on the bathroom counter looking down at me and the new kitten had his paws up on the toilet seat for a better view. He was fascinated. This is the same kitten who watched Animal Planet for almost 30 minutes nonstop today. He is a curious little guy and I am positive that this is the first time he has ever witnessed someone vomiting.
So, I had no choice but to call in sick today for work. I have no sick time left, technically, so it is considered "unpaid leave." Not good for the pocketbook. I have to take tomorrow off, too, and so does my husband (also unpaid) so that I can finally have my D&C. Honestly, with all of this nausea and vomiting, I am not so sure I want to ever be pregnant again. It is absolutely not glamorous on any level.
I will write again when I am feeling up to it, though it may be a while as I let all of this nonsense sink in. Maybe this made my decision on child-free living that much easier since now I am not so sure I would want to do egg donor (since that could involve me being pregnant). Maybe adoption will start to sound different. Who knows. I can only take life minute by minute anymore...
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