Nevus surgery

This may be my first post that is unrelated to infertility.  I feel compelled, however, to write about my daughter's surgeries to remove a large congenital melanocytic nevus from her back- partly to document it but mostly to help someone else in the same position. I was so fortunate to have come across a blog that was mostly about running, but included the blogger's experience with her son's nevus removal. I sent her an email and she quickly responded and became a wonderful source of support. She was able to prepare me for what was to come.

So, I will start by trying to upload a photo of my precious daughter shortly after birth so you can see what her nevus looked like in the beginning. For those who are planning to keep the nevus,  you can see that it did lighten in color significantly. 

(I did it! My first photos on the blog!)

Anyway, when our daughter was born we were told to see a pediatric dermatologist who advised removing the nevus once our daughter was 6 months old. At the time, we didn't question it much but then our daughter had very painful silent reflux which was causing her growth to slow. We did not feel that having the surgery would be a good idea at that point.  We revisited the idea a year later and talked with another dermatologist who said that more people were deciding not to remove these. 

We carefully considered all of the pros and cons to removal and eventually decided that removal was the best option for us. With even a 5% risk of melanoma we felt it wasnt worth it for us. (You can also look at that as a 95% chance she would not get melanoma). We also felt that when she is a teenager she would not want to have a large hairy mole covering part of her back. I understand when people say that it would build character, but I do feel she will be able to build character in other ways. Kids have become more cruel and this would be an easy target. I would love to be someone who could say,  "you know what, this is her mole and it is beautiful just the way it is (because it is!) and everyone else can just deal with it," but reality is more cruel. When I put myself in my daughter's shoes 10 years from now, I strongly feel that she would be upset that we didn't take it off when we could.  That being said, I do not believe there is a right or wrong answer in these cases. It is a personal decision that no parent takes lightly and should be respected, regardless of the decision. What works for one family may not work for another. 

I think that a big factor in our decision was that I was born with a hemangioma on my nose that could not be removed until I was 13 years old. My childhood memories are not all bad, but the teasing was frequent and the damage long-lasting. (I still get teary eyed watching Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer). I always thank my parents for removing it, especially because the removal was paid for out of pocket. I,am so grateful that they were able to afford to do it. It was considered cosmetic, whereas our daughter has a significantly higher risk of death from melanoma than the average person due to her nevus so it is covered by insurance.

My next post will be about the day of her first surgery. Then I plan to chronicle the months of expansion followed by the surgery to remove the actual nevus.

I have to get to bed because I have to be up tonight to give meds and need to catch a little sleep. I feel like I have an infant again with this new schedule!